


Breathe

by FanGirlFreak16



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon), Varian and the Seven Kingdoms
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Childhood Trauma, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hugo angst, Hugo might have it, Hurt/Comfort, I don't know, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Kissing, M/M, Not Beta Read, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Varian's trying, Varigo - Freeform, first panic attack, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26838070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanGirlFreak16/pseuds/FanGirlFreak16
Summary: Hugo felt his blood run like ice.Shocked looks were thrown his way by multiple people in the room. He wished the floor would open up beneath him and swallow him whole, but alas he knew that wasn't going to happen.
Relationships: Hugo/Varian (Disney: Varian and the Seven Kingdoms)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 61





	Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> My first one-shot for the Varian and the Seven Kingdoms AU! Apologies if either boy is horrendously out of character. I tried my best! I hope you enjoy!

Hugo felt his blood run like ice.

Shocked looks were thrown his way by multiple people in the room. He wished the floor would open up beneath him and swallow him whole, but alas he knew that wasn't going to happen.

His eyes quickly darted towards Varian, whose mouth was wide open and eyes the size of dinner plates. His expression mimicked almost everyone else's in that room.

"I..." He didn't know what to say. He knew he should apologize, but at the same token he wanted to explain his actions, justifiable or not. "I-I," everyone waited with anticipation, wondering what he had to say in his defense, or if he was going to attempt to defend himself at all.

He dared himself to look at Quirin, who was rubbing his hand. His face had an expression of shock as well, and perhaps the slightest bit of anger. The man who Hugo had been trying so desperately to impress was the man he now perhaps feared the most, aside from Varian.

Hugo really hadn't meant to. It was a reaction he wasn't aware he was capable of. Every time Donella had raised her hand to Hugo when he was younger, he would simply flinch back and take it. Even mere months ago, Hugo still would have allowed the woman who took care of him since he was a young lad to lay her hands on him in acts of "punishment". He never retaliated no matter if it was just hands or if it was a weapon.

So why did he react the way he did?

He _knew_ Quirin wasn't going to hit Varian. It was going to be a simple clap on the shoulder from pride, not a hit intended for reprimand.

Yet, Hugo still slapped Quirin's hand out of the way.

It was the way Quirin had raised his hand, Hugo knew. It had immediately taken Hugo back to being that small helpless child, the one who had seen Donella raise her hand to him too many times. Her reprimanding eyes would look down at him scornfully as she would strike him with her hand yet again. Sometimes a weapon.

Right, eyes.

They were all on him still, waiting for him to finish his previously started thought. However, Hugo had no other words to follow up with. He just stood there, frozen in place, hand still outstretched from when he hit Quirin's hand away, and mouth agape.

Varian dared to speak up. "Hugo..."

That's when Hugo darted out of the palace's throne room.

The only other time he could say he ran so fast is when Varian was possessed by Ulla and approached by Donella. Right now, however, he just needed to get away from the royal family, including Varian. He didn't know where to go, but he was fine with anywhere as long as it was out of the palace. Hugo knew the layout well enough to escort himself out of the castle, but he didn't know the layout of Corona hardly at all. He simply picked a direction and started running.

He had accidentally bumped into a couple of people on his escapade away from the castle, and he knew they must have thought he had tried to rob their pockets from the way they patted their clothes. He tried to express apologies to any and all that he ran into, but his head was running at a mile a minute, and it was at this moment he realized he couldn't _breathe._

His head was spinning, he didn't know where he was, and he couldn't breathe, but his legs told him that he needed to run. And so he continued to run. The exertion made his lungs scream for more air, but the panic swirling inside of his chest was already preventing him from doing that.

He finally stopped running when he came across a bridge that stood over a serene looking river. He wasn't sure how far he was from the castle, but since he could still see it if he looked back he assumed he wasn't too far.

His hands gripped the railing of the white bridge, eyes down cast towards the water as he tried to steady his breathing. Why was this happening? He had never felt something like this before. He was usually so calm, cool, and collected. So why was he unraveling now? Surely, it couldn't be because of his actions towards Quirin. He had done worse things than slap someone's hand away from someone else. No, that couldn't be why he was panicking so heavily. Maybe it was because it _was_ Quirin? That would make more sense. Hugo had been trying so hard to make good impressions on all of Varian's family members considering how close Varian was to them.

Whatever the reason, all Hugo knew in that moment was that he couldn't _breathe_.

Even as he watched the stars twinkle overhead from their reflection in the water, Hugo felt anything but serene.

"Hey," Came a quiet voice, "room for two?" Hugo whipped around so quickly, Varian thought that he may have given himself whiplash. Varian tried to smile at the boy he was three feet away from him, but his smile quickly melted when he noticed the state of Hugo. Varian would be the first to tell anyone that Hugo wasn't an emotionally open person. Sure, he'd share the occasional childhood sad story, and comfort Varian when he cried, and cuddle up with him when they slept, but Hugo wasn't one to let his emotions show on his sleeve.

To see Hugo with red rimmed eyes and tears rolling down his cheeks, snot dribbling from his nose, and hair completely disheveled was quite the alarm. On top of that Varian noticed the way Hugo took in ragged breaths at too quick of a pace. He knew the symptoms all too well, but he also knew he had never before seen Hugo experience a panic attack before. With caution, Varian took a small step forward. "Hugo? Hey, Hugo, I need you to breathe with me, ok?" His words were met with a sharp shake of the head from Hugo, Hugo's hands working themselves into his hair and tugging harshly.

"C-Can't." Hugo protested weakly.

Varian, with the slightest bit of more confidence, took another step forward and outstretched a hand. Hugo violently flinched back, so much so that he nearly flung himself off of the bridge the two were on. Varian immediately retracted his hand. _So touch is out,_ he ruled. "Hugh, can you sit down with me? It might be easier to calm down if you're sitting." Varian wasn't sure what exactly he was expecting from the panicking boy, but for him to comply wasn't on the list. He expected Hugo to either not register what he said or disregard it completely in his blind panic, but when Hugo made an effort to slowly sit down, Varian was slightly shocked.

Varian sat crisscrossed on the ground next to Hugo, making sure to maintain a comfortable distance between them. Varian was slightly at a loss of what to do. Sure, he had had plenty of panic attacks before, but he had never witnessed Hugo having one before. It seemed so out of character for the confident and egotistical boy that Varian had come to fall in love with. "Sh," Varian tried to sound as comforting as possible without having his arms wrapped around his love. "It's all ok, you're safe," He assured. He tried to think of things that worked for him. Usually when he had one, Hugo had him breathe with him in beats of four. _Maybe that'll work,_ Varian thought to himself. "Hugo, I need you to try and breathe with me, ok? In for four, hold for four, out for four. Can you try that with me?"

Hugo's tiny nod was all Varian needed to immediately get to work and help Hugo calm his breathing. He had Hugo watch him as he breathed, counting four beats for each step of the exercise. Eventually, Hugo joined in. He took in a breath for four beats, but when he went to hold it, he choked and immediately started to panic yet again, much to Varian's dismay. "No, no, baby, it's ok! We'll just try again, yeah? C'mon, you've got this." He encouraged, repeating the breathing exercise.

In about five minutes, which felt like an eternity to Varian, Hugo's breathing had calmed down. All that remained of his emotional outburst was silent tears running down his cheeks. To say Hugo was embarrassed was an understatement. Sure, the only one to truly see his break down was Varian, but he wasn't used to being this open with the younger boy. He was used to being the collected one, always ready to help when Varian got overwhelmed or upset, not the other way around. "Oh, stars." Hugo moaned, hiding his face behind his hands.

Varian let out a gentle breath that he hadn't realized he was holding. "Hugh, what was that about? I've never seen something like that from you." If it came out rude, Varian hadn't meant for it to. With the way Hugo seemed to curl more in on himself, he assumed that those words had been the wrong thing to say.

"That's because this is the first time something like this happened." Hugo muttered, hands still covering his face, his glasses pushed up into his hair. Varian could still hear the faintest sniffles erupt every so often from the blonde, and each one made Varian's heart feel a little heavier. Sure, he had seen Hugo cry before, but this seemed to be for a cause much deeper than Varian had ever witnessed before. Varian leaned against the railing of the bridge on the same side Hugo was, a little space kept between them.

"Do you know why it happened?"

Hugo shook his head. "No, not really."

It was then, in the silence that followed after Hugo's response, that Varian realized he had almost completely forgotten about the events that transpired previously. It wasn't like Hugo to lash out in any sort of way. At most, he would raise his voice in frustration, but he wasn't one for yelling or hitting. Not that Hugo had yelled, but the fact that Hugo had struck Varian's dad for seemingly no reason was offsetting. "Is it ok for me to start asking questions?"

Varian could feel his heart do a small flip when he noticed Hugo's shoulders heave with soft laughter. "You already have been."

Varian rolled his eyes at Hugo's response, but he couldn't help but smile at the fact Hugo was back to joking around with him. "Deeper ones, you ding dong."

Hugo let out another gentle laugh, hands melting from his face, but his knees drawing up to his chest and his arms wrapping around his long appendages. He rested his chin on his knee, green eyes gazing into Varian's blue ones. Varian couldn't get enough of those emerald green eyes, and Hugo couldn't get enough of Varian's Caribbean sea blue eyes. Their eyes told emotions and stories that neither could ever speak. Right now, Varian could see a vast number of emotions flashing through Hugo's eyes all at one. "Sure," Hugo said quietly, "knock yourself out."

Varian slowly outstretched his hand towards one of Hugo's, eyes asking a silent question that neither needed to speak. Hesitantly, Hugo nodded, and Varian made no haste in interlocking his fingers with Hugo's, moving it from its previous position of being locked around his legs. "What was that about? Back at the castle, I mean. I've never seen you react to anything like that before," Varian asked, his thumb making circles on the back of Hugo's hand. Varian could feel Hugo tense slightly under his touch. Clearly, the topic was touchy, and Varian immediately felt terrible for asking. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," Varian followed up. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. Say what you want when you're ready for it."

Hugo let out an airy chuckle, his unoccupied arm tightening around his knees. "Talking about it is always going to make me uncomfortable," He confided, "but it would probably be best if you knew. Just...bear with me, ok, Goggles?" Varian's nod and faint smile was all the confirmation Hugo needed to continue on. "You know how Donella has always been kind of a mother figure for me, right?" Hugo could feel Varian tense up just at the mention of her name, but his look of distaste quickly fell into a look of confusion.

"Wait...kind of a mother figure? I thought she was your mother?"

Hugo shook his head slightly. "No," He denied. "She took me in when I was real young. She saw me lying off to the side of the street, barely conscious, and took me home with her. Since then she kinda...took me in. Housed me, fed me, gave me the necessities every child requires. However, it's safe for me to say that Donella was never suited for motherhood."

"Why's that?" Varian inquired, eyebrow cocked up into a questioning manner.

Hugo bit his lip slightly. "Well," He began, holding out the _L,_ "she acted more...business like, I guess you could say, as opposed to motherly. She had me work for her in return for her taking me in and not letting me die on the street," Hugo could feel Varian tense up at that. The past two years that they had been completing the trials was filled with almost losing each other a multitude of times. "First it started off with learning how to steal more efficiently. I could already steal relatively well since I was living on the street till I was about five, but her methods made outcomes much more in my favor. I was doing so well, in fact, that by ten she had me working on more complex missions," Hugo slightly boasted, a somewhat proud smile on his face, but that quickly fell. "She had me do a lot of bad things. Bad things I...for the most part didn't want to do."

Varian could feel the drastic shift in Hugo's tone, and it made him slightly uncomfortable if he was honest with himself. He figured that Hugo had done relatively bad tasks, that was a given from the fact that Donella was his employer. However, with the way Hugo spoke, some jobs seemed to be a lot worse than Hugo was telling him. Obviously, pasts didn't matter to Varian, so long as the person changed, but he felt as if this was something Hugo wanted to talk about. He opened his mouth to speak, but he was promptly cut off by a gentle chittering sound.

Varian and Hugo's heads both snapped towards the right most side of the bridge which led back into the village of Corona. Behind one of the pillars of the railing sat an all too familiar raccoon, his body hid behind the pillar, but his head peeking out. Ruddiger, the loyal companion he was, had always been wary of Hugo when he had first joined the group, and was probably suspicious of him longer than Nuru was. He had never left Varian alone with Hugo for longer than five minutes, it seemed. Though Ruddiger was trusting towards Hugo now, he still seemed to dislike the blonde. Varian chalked it up to the two seeming to always be fighting for Varian's attention. Varian's expression melted into one of very slight anger. "Ruddiger," He reprimanded, "I told you to stay at the castle."

Ruddiger seemed to chitter back in an objective manner that made Hugo almost laugh. The raccoon made his way closer to the boys, despite Varian's protests. To say Varian was shocked at what he did next would be an understatement. Varian had expected that Ruddiger would plop himself on Varian's shoulders, his signature spot, to try and gain some attention from his owner. Instead, he made his way over to Hugo and tilted his head like a dog would. Maybe it was the redness around his eyes, or the wet tracks that were still left over on his cheeks that caused the raccoon to look at the boy he competed with every day with such concern in his eyes. Before Hugo could speak to the creature that slept at the foot of his and Varian's shared bed every night, Ruddiger had made his way up to Hugo's lap and snuggled into it.

Varian felt his heart melt at the sight of the two most important people in his life getting along. Varian gently placed a hand on Hugo's shoulder, the latter looking as if he was about to cry again from the new found affection from the animal in his lap. Hugo directed his teary eyes back up to Varian who was sporting a supportive smile. "Tell us whatever you want to," He said softly. "We're your family, and we're not going anywhere, no matter what. We're here for you."

Hugo let out a sniff and wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve, his glasses lifting to his forehead in the process before promptly falling back down. "Th-Thanks, Goggles," He stuttered before taking in a deep breath. "Since she started putting me on more complex missions, she expected a higher quality of work. That means less mistakes. But...y'know how ten year olds are," Hugo let out a watery chuckle at his own attempted joke. "Needless to say, I made plenty. What kind of ten year old wouldn't?"

Varian felt a knot form in the pit of his stomach. What exactly was Hugo getting at with mistakes? He formed a theory of his own in his head, but he hoped to Demanitus that he was incorrect. "What happened when you made mistakes?"

Hugo drew in a sharp breath through his teeth. That reaction alone seemed to prove Varian's theory true. He felt his heart shatter. He wanted Hugo to prove him wrong, tell him anything but what he was thinking, but he figured that wasn't going to happen. "Hugo," He said softly, in a tone of shock. He reached shaky hands out to gently grip Hugo's shoulders. "Hugo, baby, what did she do?"

Hugo gazed up into Varian's eyes, drinking in their beautiful color, but ultimately downcast his eyes to the cobblestone pavement of the bridge. "I'm sorry," He muttered. "Seeing your dad raise his hand like that just...at you nonetheless...I don't know. It kind of reminded me of..."

That's when the pieces fell into place for Varian. He didn't know how to react or what to say. What was he _supposed_ to say? He had never dealt with a situation like this before. Most parents in Corona and Old Corona were relatively caring, if not slightly dismissive. He had not met a single child there that ever had a hand raised to them out of malicious intent. His silence must have drawn on for longer than it should of though, since Hugo started to speak again.

"It's stupid, I know," He chuckled, but Varian could tell his heart wasn't in it. "It's not even that big of a deal. I'm over all of it, anyway. I just wanted to let you know why I whacked your dad. I really didn't mean to," He chuckled again. "I bet everyone back at the castle hates me now."

"Hugo, let's get one thing straight," Varian said in probably the most serious tone of voice Hugo had ever heard him carry before. Varian's grip on Hugo's shoulders had tightened ever so slightly. "Never tell me, or anyone else for that matter, that what Donella did to you isn't a big deal. I don't know what all she did to you, and I don't need to in order to tell you that you didn't deserve anything like that," Varian's eyes were filled with nothing but love and concern. Hugo's heart would have skipped a beat if it wasn't for the weight of the situation. "As for the rest hating you, that isn't true at all. I know them, and they would never hate you for something like this. Once we explain to them why it happened, they'll understand."

Hugo's eyes had never held such terror in his life before, save for when Varian was possessed. "Do we have to tell them?"

Varian was shocked by the question, but he supposed he should have seen it coming. "Do you not want to?"

If Hugo dug his fingers deeper into Ruddiger's fur or perhaps tightened their grip in it, Ruddiger made no noises of complaint. "I..." Hugo felt like he was a wreck. He was completely out of control, and he despised it. Varian and him had been open before with emotions, _obviously,_ but a situation like this being on display for Varian to take in was really terrifying, no matter how supportive the younger alchemist was. How would it feel if the others knew about it? Would they think differently of him? Would they still be angry with him? Eugene would probably laugh at him and tell him he deserved it.

"We don't have to," Varian broke through Hugo's vicious thoughts. "You don't have to tell them anything you don't want to. We can tell them that there was something that went on a long time ago, and the way Dad stood reminded you of it, and your fight instincts kicked in. We could probably be even more discreet than that, if I'm honest," Varian's left hand went to cup Hugo's face, which Hugo gladly leaned into. "No matter what you do or don't decide to tell them, I know their opinion of you won't change. They love you, Hugo. They really do. And I do as well."

Hugo let out a soft chuckle, moving an arm to wipe the tears away from his eyes and move his glasses back onto the bridge of his nose. "You better. Otherwise that'll make some of our previous encounters rather awkward."

Varian felt his face and ears turn bright red. He rolled his eyes and took his hands off of Hugo's shoulders, eliciting a whine from the taller boy at the loss of contact. "Hugo!" His voice sounded out an octave higher.

Hugo could only laugh at his boyfriend's embarrassment. Although, Varian had to admit, compared to the sounds of strangled breathing and heavy sobs he had to listen to earlier, Hugo's laughter rang out like music to his ears. The way his disheveled hair bounced every time he took in a shaky breath, only for it to be forced out in a sound of joy and hilarity, and the way his emerald green eyes shone with happiness was everything to melt Varian's heart and make him realize that he truly was helpless for this boy. "C'mon, Goggles," Hugo said through his fits of laughter, "you love me."

Varian moved Ruddiger from Hugo's lap to Hugo's shoulders instead, immediately taking the spot of where the raccoon had been moments before. "I do," He said, sincerity laced within his voice, "I really, really do," Varian interlocked his fingers with Hugo's yet again, loving how their hands fit like how a key fit perfectly to its lock. Even though he had just said it moments before, Varian felt the need to reiterate. He tilted his head up to look at the pale face of his boyfriend. "I love you." He said as he began to lean forward.

"I love you, too." Hugo barely had any time to respond before Varian's lips crashed onto his. To Hugo, it was as soft as the moonlight that downcast on the two, leaving their shadows in front of them to see. He couldn't ever seem to get enough of Varian nor his kisses, and to Hugo it was a sensation that ended all too abruptly. Varian broke the kiss and snuggled his head into the crook of Hugo's neck.

"Feeling better?"

Hugo let out the faintest sigh, a content smile grazed upon his lips. However, he wished Varian's were still latched to his. "Very."

Varian hummed in acknowledgement, basking in the presence of his two favorite beings in the whole world. However, from the movement of the moon, he figured they should at least begin their trek back to the castle. Begrudgingly, Varian stood from Hugo's lap, outstretching an arm to help the taller up. "Come on," He said quietly, "it's late and you've had a rough night. The others are probably getting worried."

With a look of hesitancy, Hugo took Varian's hand into his own and allowed the shorter to help him up. The raccoon on his shoulders made a small chitter in protest but made no move to leave. Varian was more than pleased to see Ruddiger's over protective tendencies shift from not just aimed at him, but to Hugo as well. As the two began to walk back, Varian could practically hear the cogs turning in his boyfriend's mind. He took Hugo's hand and gave it a soft squeeze. "It's all going to be alright."

With that sentence, Hugo felt the tension in his shoulders melt away. He believed Varian.


End file.
